It’s been a long time coming

Hi, friends. I’m back :)

In the small chance someone is still actually subscribed from years ago and will receive a “The Molly Effect has a new post!” email in their inbox today, you’re probably wondering what’s up. And if you’re seeing this from me on social media and wondering “Oh gosh, what is she writing now?” I promise to make this first one brief (yeah, right - we know I’m not good at that).

I’m still navigating the world of young women at high-risk for cancers due to BRCA mutations. Ten years ago I was focused on breast cancer prevention and most recently I’ve taken more of a personal focus on ovarian cancer prevention.

Six weeks ago I had preventative surgery to greatly decrease my risk of ovarian cancer. It’s something I’ve been planning for years, but a major surgery nonetheless. I’ve spent the last month and a half resting, recovering and figuring out how to manage surgical menopause. I have so much to say and stories to tell and really, that is the point to bringing all of this back.

Scientifically, the odds have never been in my favor. Having the BRCA1 mutation means your risks are higher and the outlook scarier. What I have always worked to do and what still remains true is that I believe the knowledge of this mutation can save lives. Using knowledge as power, as scary as it may be, can be what changes the outlook and increases the odds of a healthy, long life. One longer than my dad was able to live, and one long enough for me to watch my boys grow older. Sharing this sentiment has always been my purpose.

Ten years ago I had my preventative double mastectomy in a time where not many young women like me talked about it. I set out to share my story and help others by being brave enough to open myself to criticism and comments, if only to connect with one person. In the end, I made strong, lasting connections that empower me still.

So for those who may have lost touch since my beginning blogging days or are new to my novel-like posts, a quick life update. What’s changed since the last post in 2016? Most notably, our two boys! Our son Rory Scott was born in 2017 and is now in kindergarten and obsessed with all things sports. This morning he woke up at 6:40 a.m. and told us which teams were ranked top in the Big 12. I don’t even know what teams are in the Big 12. It’s fun learning “sports” through his eyes. Our son Peter Robert was born in 2020, right before the pandemic, and is in his first year of preschool. He has bright red hair and a smile that lights any room, and says every thought that comes to his mind - both a blessing and a curse depending on who’s in ear’s distance. Both are the quintessential “boys,” spending most of their waking hours running us in circles. Being a mom is the most exhausting, gratifying role I play these days.

There have been many more changes in the years since I’ve been active on here. And maybe I’ll put them into words one day. But what’s equally as important is what has stayed the same.

If you were once an avid reader of this blog (LOL, let me allow myself to believe that anyone was an avid reader of mine), I used to rave about all the ways Kevin and I would YOLO. The YOLOing looks different these days, but I’d like to believe we still maintain that young identity in our hearts. Saturday bar hopping has turned into kid-friendly neighborhood breweries and Netflix shows or speed-reading novels after bedtime, but still YOLOing just the same.

So I guess this is my long-winded explanation of why today and why now I come back to this blog. I’ve always found peace in writing - in sharing my thoughts in words and releasing them out into this universe. I’ve found myself searching and Googling constantly this time around, trying to find anyone out there in my position, in my stage of life, going through this type of recovery process, and have had no success. The marketer in me has an urge to tag the heck out of this page, use all the right key terms and become my own SEO expert so that the next person like me can find my story and not feel so alone. Marketing aside, maybe if I’m brave enough to share my story, others will do the same. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over these years, it’s the strength in numbers and power of community that means the most. If it doesn’t already exist, maybe I can help create it.

I don’t have all the answers. Or really any of them yet. But maybe I will eventually. Maybe I will meet people who do, or are also working to find them. And then maybe I can feel as if by sharing my story, I have helped one person, as I began to do 10 years ago when I started this journey.

I’ll get to more of that later, but for now, as if to exhale one last time before I ditch the novels and Netflix in exchange for my laptop and first day back to work post-surgery tomorrow, here is my first post - out of my head and onto this dusty old blog. 

Until then, I hope you enjoy the very millennial-like, long-form content that my journalism-educated self still finds as the most comforting medium of consumption. I’ll be back soon to share more.

Cheers! Xoxo

P.S. if you scroll down and deep dive the archived posts from my early days, just know I am cringing along with you. Yikes 2016 was a long time ago!

Giving up would have been so easy

Two years ago this month, I had my first surgery. What you may not know, or not remember now that you've been (so graciously) listening to it for so long, is that at that time, it wasn't this hugely known "thing" I was doing. I hadn't begun shouting it from the rooftops or writing about it or really telling people outside of my circle. It was still scary and unknown and kind of embarrassing.

And then something happened. Somewhere between recovering, being surrounded by so much love and support and getting my life back together, I found my "thing." I found this emotional, empowering platform to stand on and be a voice for other young women that have a strong family history or maybe even have a BRCA mutation, too. I re-found my love for writing and started to feel like what I did and my courage to speak up about it could really be impactful to the lives of so many, rather than just myself.

But it wasn't always easy. Now two years later, it's obviously much more fun to remember all the cool people I've met and experiences I've been able to be a part of, but that wasn't all of it. There were times where I was worried about my scars, literally and figuratively, re-appearing and not always being able to be this extremely positive "you go girl" type person.

I was thinking about this little rut I almost allowed myself to get in, as I was re-reading some of my old blog posts. It really is an energizing thing for me to go back and revisit old stories and posts and times in my life. It's so easy to keep looking ahead, but so much happened, and I'm glad I have a lot of it literally archived.

I wrote a post about the fear of losing my identity, back in January 2015. And as I was reading this one, it kind of made me a little sad. I clearly was having a bit of a hard time adjusting to who I was becoming and where I had been and where I should go next. It wasn't until now, 15 months later, that I'm looking back and thinking, "Wow. I could have so easily just let this go." Of course I ended that blog post on a positive note, keeping that "you go, girl" attitude I so strive to make consistent, but clearly it wasn't enough. 

It wasn't until six months after that downer of a post that I came back to The Molly Effect. Yes, I had bachelorette parties and home-buying and a wedding keeping me busy during then, but I chose to stay away from here. And I know it was out of fear of the unknown. And maybe a little awkwardness. It was hard to get back to writing when I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do next. And to be honest. I don't really know when the switch flipped. But it did.

What I'm trying to get at here is that it would have been so easy to say, you know, I did this "thing" and made this impact and now I'm ready to stop working at it. That would have been so easy and I don't think anyone would have blamed me. But that would have been so, so lame. Little did I know back then that my story was just beginning, and that I had the ability to determine the next chapters ahead.

I'm not anywhere near the ending of my story, but I know I'm glad I kept it going. 

Nearly two years later, I'm finding more ways to make a difference, more ways to share my story and more courage to keep it going.

If you're in a place right now where you feel like giving up or calling it quits just because you can't see where you'll go next or how you're going to get there, I'm going to tell you to hold on. Your best, most compelling chapters of your story could still be ahead, even if they're unclear or not quite ready to be written. I'm telling you this because I'm glad I had people telling me the same thing, and encouraging me to not be done just yet.

And to all my advocates out there, thanks for keeping me afloat and continually empowering me to find my next "thing," and also to keep this one going. I'm so grateful for all that's happened in the last two years, and am excited that soon I'll have even more new pieces of my story to share with you here (fun projects in the works!) Until then, I'll just keep jogging down memory lane, brainstorming and daydreaming my next few chapters (and blog posts). 

Hang in there. I'm so glad I did.  Xoxo,
Molly

It's about 35 degrees this morning in Cincinnati, so let's also flashback to much warmer (and the happiest!!) times in Jamaica on our honeymoon last June. Cheers to spring weather hopefully arriving soon!

Fearing to ask the question: Am I losing my identity?

It's been more than a year since I first decided to move forward with my prophylactic mastectomy, more than 3 and a half years since my dad passed away, and just shy of 6 years since I tested positive for the BRCA1 genetic mutation. And the craziest throwback of them all? The very last part of my surgery and reconstruction was complete just nine days ago. So the obvious (at least to me) question presents itself: Is it all over? Is the person I've become throughout this journey ending her reign of breast cancer Previvor queen? And the scariest question of all: Who am I now? The short answer is that I am changed. Physically, emotionally, I am a changed woman. Having to deal with physical trials and pain for pretty much the first time in my life was hard, though it made me realize how strong you can be when you need to, and how minimal my pain and trials were, compared to if I would have gotten sick, and not had this as a preventative procedure.

God love one of my BFFs for being the one friend that always asks you the "what was your best and worst of the last year" when it's your birthday type questions. I'm lucky enough that my crew of best friends celebrated my reconstruction completion this past weekend, and naturally, at dinner, this BFF posed the question to both Kevin and I of "what, when now looking back, are we surprised about now that this whole ordeal is complete?" Kev's answer was frighteningly so true: When we look now at those we've either met over the last few months, or even just seen from afar, that are fighting the battle of breast cancer, and especially at such a young age, it definitely scares us straight. The few months of struggles were 100% the right choice, for both of us. My odds were just simply not in my favor, and I did something to fix that. I can't predict the future, but I can say with confidence that I lowered my risk of becoming one of those statistics.

Emotionally, I've been on a roller coaster. I'd say most of the time I've been on top of the ride, able to use this experience as a positive one, staying confident and optimistic. But there were some days I went down the hill and struggled to climb back up. I took things out on people who didn't deserve it, I avoided others, and sometimes let myself get down. But now looking back, I think it was all deserved. I deserved a day or two to be hurting, emotionally or physically, and I deserved to be mad that I had to miss out on something, or mad at the forgotten friend who didn't reach out. It made my skin a little thicker, and gave me the ability to climb myself back to the top of the ride and realize all of the good things and good people I have in my life. I did not come out bitter, I can promise you that.

I guess I'm most scared of losing the identity of the person I've become. I've always had some type of added identity, not necessarily by choice, but always there. Whether it be the girl in the sorority who's dad is sick, the girl with the weird genetic thing or now the girl who had the mastectomy. And I'm not mad about it. If anything, it's helped shape who I am to myself and who I am to others, hopefully in a pleasant light, for overcoming these situations. But, it is scary, thinking I'm losing something that's helped give me a confidence, or a motivation to be better and to do better.

So the silver lining? There is still so much more to share, so many more lives to touch and hopefully many more lives to save. My work now is not just who I am, but my mission. Because now I've done more than share my story and journey as I've gone through it. I've actually overcome it and have the ability to move forward. And I'm going to at least let myself believe that's more than a stigma, or even an identity. My mission is powerful, and now I have even more time to dedicate to serving that mission (and plan a wedding while I'm at it).

So thank you, each and every one of you that reads this, that has supported me all along the way and has shown me love in such beautiful gestures. It's because of that support, love and faith that I can say I am finished with this stage of my journey, and am incredibly happy with the new, healthy and refreshed person I am.

It's not over, it really is just a new beginning and a time to fight for other young high-risk women to have a louder voice in the world. I don't have to be scared (for long at least) that the person I am is changed, but proud of who I have been and am now, because that pride is something that can carry forward.

So I hope you continue to follow the next steps of my journey, because as I said, there is much more to share, and much, much more to come.

Xoxo, Molly

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” - Maya Angelou

Can we all get along? Why I think even Melissa Etheridge & I should be friends.

I'll start by saying, I originally wrote something about this topic earlier in the week, and I'm glad I held off, calmed down and reflected on the bigger issue to be addressed before posting. When it comes down to it, I was angry. Angry about an article that I got a hold of this week that discusses why there is some backlash for singing superstar Melissa Etheridge and some things she said in a recent interview for AARP Magazine. As we all know, she is one of the most acclaimed musicians of our time, and as some may not know, also a breast cancer survivor. I don't know too much about her or listen to her music, but I do remember in 2013 when she came out making remarks about Angelina Jolie's decision to have a preventative double mastectomy. Her description of Angelina's decision: "I wouldn't call it the brave choice. I actually think it's the most fearful choice you can make when confronting anything with cancer." Clearly she and I have some differing views. But whatever, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I, of all people, understand that. But she is at it again with her recent comments. In late September, AARP Magazine came out with an article featuring Etheridge and friend and co-breast cancer survivor Sheryl Crow. In this article, Etheridge, who, this is the biggest kicker, is a carrier of the BRCA2 mutation herself, was asked if women should be tested for the genetic mutation. Her response: "I have the BRCA2 mutation, but I don't encourage women to get tested. Genes can be turned on or off. I turned my gene on with my very poor diet."

Now do you see why my anger kicked in? This is ridiculous! Literally no other word to describe it. Completely ridiculous.

So first things first. This is an inaccurate statement, which she is now retracting because of the backlash flooding in from organizations that support high-risk women. Genes 100% cannot be turned on or off. Absolutely, diet, exercise, environment, many factors can affect one's health, but you cannot turn your genetic mutation "off." Giving the idea to a woman, genetically predisposed, that she doesn't need to be concerned with her high-risk if she lives a healthy lifestyle, could be deadly. And personally, it's insulting to me. I consider myself healthy, but I'm also informed, aware and thoughtful of my health, and luckily know that my gene can't be "turned off."

So after I controlled my anger about this ridiculous, very weird statement, the real issue at hand sets in. Is it a survivor/previvor thing? Is it a "I fought a hard fight and you just were scared of the odds" thing? I do think Previvors are getting more publicity these days after people like Angelina Jolie's public decision, but do Previvors deserve to be recognized? Deserve to be praised? I'm biased because I am one, and a proud one at that. It wasn't an easy process and I truly feel like I came out on top. But as negative comments like Etheridge's get attention, do breast cancer fighters and survivors want to recognize the newly proclaimed Previvor? The Angelina Jolie to their Susan G. Komen? I'm not sure. It's probably easier to give positive praise to women, especially young, courageous 25-year-old women like me, for stepping up and being proactive with their health. But is it harder for them to yell out, "Stop with the Previvor, proactive BS!" because we're the lucky ones, the ones able to know about our risk before it turns cancerous, and before we have to become a fighter? I'm not sure either.

As a daughter of someone who lost their life far too soon from the strange and confusing disease of cancer, I would like to say I can understand the selfish anger of "why me" and "why to my family"? And that is absolutely a reason for my proactive surgical measures. I don't want breast cancer survivors to think of me as a cheater, as someone not worthy of any credit. My fight was different and it was one I chose to fight. And for that I say Previvors deserve praise. I, and they, deserve praise for not only choosing to live a healthy and active lifestyle, but to also make decisions, as drastic as they are, to prevent our families from going through the fight as well. We gave up the body part some women even say define them. We chose surgery not because we had to but because we didn't want to have to later on in life. Sure, there's always the chance we never would have gotten sick, but wasn't there also the chance my father would have stayed the healthy cyclist physician, instead of getting terminally ill before he even hit his mid-fifties? Yes. There's always the chance. But for us, we took the chance in our own hands and did what we thought best.

To those who do not understand, I urge you to be sensitive. This personal, life-changing decision wasn't easy and maybe learning about the life of a Previvor can help you see why some decisions require extreme measures. For those of you who are angry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry my extremely personal decision is not what you agree with. I don't agree with a lot of things in life, but in regards to my health and surgical decisions, I will agree to disagree with those who share differing views. And most importantly to those who are fighting or who have fought, even those out there like Melissa Etheridge, you are why I did this and why I want your support. I want the breast cancer community and those mighty strong fighters and survivors to back women like me, back our decision to not allow this horrible disease to interfere with our lives.

What I want the Previvors to remember through this, is that we do not need to be ashamed of the knowledge we choose to have. As I've said before, everyone has comments. You don't have to let them affect you, even if they're from celebrities in nationally published magazines. Remember that in this different fight we're in, we have doctors because we need and trust them for medical expertise, we have activists and organizations that recognize our need for a voice, and trust me that we have and can be our own advocates, because most importantly, we need the support.

Hugs today. Xoxo, Molly

Being the engaged mastectomy girl: Wedding planning with a totally doable twist

My fiancé Kevin and I got engaged on a random Thursday night this past March. The best part is that it was totally one of those moments where you kind of black out and don't really remember what is going on, but I do remember calling all my girlfriends and saying "OMG I just got engaged at 5:30 p.m. on a Thursday!" Not only was it a random Thursday in March, but it was also just two weeks and a few days shy of my first surgery date. So unknowingly at the time, I became not just the 25-year-old having the double mastectomy, but the engaged 25-year-old having the mastectomy. It was something that somehow managed to fascinate people around me, and was also the absolute best distraction at the absolute best possible time. (Props to Kev on timing that one up just right.)

And so the shuffling began. Managing wedding planning and surgery, and then recovering, while still wedding planning. So we celebrated for two weeks, and then got into surgery mode. Looking back it all went so fast that I'm not sure I realized the full extent of life's craziness until now, but I'd do it all over again. What better of a time to be surrounded by friends, family and supporters?

So what did I learn from this process? That's the important part. There were many lessons I stumbled upon through the course of being the engaged double mastectomy girl (still am, so keep 'em coming), and this is one of those posts I hope some awesome chick out there either contemplating or going through a preventative surgery like mine can find and take comfort in. Because your engagement is supposed to be fun! And it totally is, even if you're going through a trying time. And it also goes for those that may not have a significant other in their lives yet and worry about having the surgery before finding love. I want to guarantee you there are men out there who will love you, scars and all, and planning your future wedding will be a piece of cake after you've conquered your high-risk.

What I want you to remember:

No one needs to know, or can tell from the outside, unless you want them to I am a prime example of this. You would be surprised that after going through an 8+ hour surgery, a night in the hospital and having horrible drains in you for a week, after week two or three of recovery, no one can really tell by looking at you on the outside. The first wedding venues I looked at, I went to during my initial recovery. I got myself together, put on some makeup, straightened my hair, and no one would have ever known what I was going through. It was a confidence booster for me. To get out and about and be "the bride" looking at venues, with the wedding coordinators not having a clue. I just want women to know that. It's not a scarlet letter you're wearing on your chest. You're still the same chick, in my case engaged chick, that you were before. Don't let your surgery, your recovery, the scars, anything define you. Because at the end of the day, you're still you and a little self-pride can do you well.

People in the wedding industry have seen it all This is phenomenal to me! I was so, so fortunate to have two of my awesome friends Grace and Anne make me an appointment at KLEINFELD'S in NYC while I was in the city for a trip earlier this summer. I mean, going to Kleinfeld's is every engaged chick's dream. And here I was living it! Aside from the hilariousness of the place itself, the crazy women inside and the extreme amount of bridal gowns everywhere, what I took away from this experience was how unfazed they were at my current situation. Before we began the process of picking gowns for me to try on, I awkwardly spoke up and said "Umm there's something I think I should tell you." The woman working with us looked at me and said, "Honey, that doesn't bother me one bit, I've seen it all." And seriously acted like I was the crazy one for thinking it was a big deal. Her and her assistant put me in and out of dresses like I was any other woman in there, and that made me feel so at ease. It was the weekend before my "exchange" surgery, so my expanders were at their fullest, AKA most uncomfortable, stage, yet these women put me in dresses and made me feel completely beautiful. It didn't matter what I was going through on the inside; I was a beautiful bride-to-be that day.

Remember why you're engaged, and don't ever stop celebrating that Engagement is about the love between the two of you. Not just you. Not just him. And this was something I had to remind myself. I was the one having the dramatic few months, with hospitals and attention, but the engagement and wedding planning process helped me remember why I deserved some extra positivity even through the pain and hard days. We're getting married! We're planning what will be the best day and night of our lives! And that is worth celebrating every day, whether you're in pain from the expanders or not. Having my wedding to plan and look forward to 100% got me through my recovery. Sure, planning a wedding comes with a bit of drama and tough decisions, but at the end of the day, I'm the luckiest girl in the world and I had Kevin by my side to celebrate every day.

I am so blessed to have the next six months to continue celebrating my engagement, future wedding and the life we have to look forward to. I may be that chick who had the double mastectomy right now, but at the end of the day, I'm still just thrilled to be Kevin's fiancé .

Xoxo, Molly

Deciding that louder awareness is greater than quiet praise, and why I don't read the comments.

Let's start with this: I know I put myself and my story out there. I 100% acknowledge that I, very willingly, shared with media outlets big and small my decision to have preventative surgery and my journey since. Now, since I've made that clear, I also 100% acknowledge that there are some real crazies out there. And especially when you are dealing with the Internet. I decided to write about this topic of sharing your story, the media that shares it and what you can do to move beyond negativity because I think it is really relevant to anyone who feels passionate for a cause and wants to shout it from the rooftops, rather than sit quietly. And when it comes down to it, it's up to asking yourself one question: is the attention and awareness you're spreading bigger than the (sometimes ignorant and negative) crazies in the world? For me, the answer is astoundingly no short of "hell yes." From the moment I posted my first blog, I was overwhelmed by not only gratitude for all the love I was receiving, but also by the extreme amount of confidence I was feeling in myself. Confidence is something I've struggled with in the past, maybe not outwardly, but through different stages in my life, so to feel a new confidence come from within, it was a strangely new feeling that I was immensely proud of. I could have kept quiet, shared it with a few close friends, but deciding to speak out and loudly about my mission has proven to be the best decision I have ever made.

Now to the media. The whole joke of the matter is that I work in marketing and advertising and have an educational background in journalism and public relations. So should I have seen all this coming? Yes, and I did. And I absolutely know that by putting your story out there for the world, you open yourself up to criticism. But the tricky part is remembering to have thick skin when people react either negatively or just have differing views and opinions. Because that does happen, and I think always will. It's part of why my story is unique. Not many young women go through a preventative surgery like mine, but that's part of my mission; to spread awareness for something that could save a life, and especially for those that were unaware or in fear of the information I sought out and used to be proactive.

I'm fortunate that I have had incredibly supportive people in the media help share my story. My first interview with Sheree from Channel 5 was just wonderful and she was so, so sweet to me through the entire process. Obviously my experience shooting the TV commercial for UC Health was just as wonderful and in such a supportive environment. And by far the most rewarding experience was my quick few minute interview with Lynn Berry from HLN. I ended that Skype interview in such awe of her compassion and just flat out praise for my mission to share my story.

So where does any negativity come in? The comments. There are a lot of people out there that have strong opinions and also like to share them from behind their computer screen. And that can be very hard, and I can promise you that I have to force myself not to read too much into them, or read them at all. Someone told me recently, and it was genius, that it's like being a celebrity and knowing they shouldn't read what was said about them in USWeekly. Now, I'm no celeb, but it is totally applicable. Celebrities know that people will find something to be negative about for everything, and it's just not worth it. So do I. It's a balancing act between respecting that everyone has an opinion and it's perfectly acceptable for others to not share yours, and also knowing that it may not be worth causing yourself any pain to always read everything they have to say.

So what can you do: Surround yourself by positive people, praise and environments. Embrace those who support you and your mission, whatever it may be. It's those people who will remind you why you're fighting for what you're fighting for, and never let you forget it. Soak in all the accomplishments you receive and applause you collect along the way. Happiness does wonders on the soul. And lastly, put yourself in environments that bring out the best in you. You will not be able to please everyone or gain everyone's support. That's just life. But you can be the best you can be and do the best you can possibly do, in your own world. And sometimes that is enough to fend off any negative vibes.

So for me, I'll keep striving to spread awareness for high-risk young women, no matter what a random Internet crazy comments. And for all of you who are passionate for a special cause in your heart, I hope you keep fighting for what you believe in and finding it in yourself and from those who support you, to keep on keepin' on.

Xoxo, Molly

Because, YOLO: Being Queen Bee for the day!

"It's better in life to look back and say 'I can't believe I did that' than to look back and say 'I wish I did that.'" Tomorrow I will be participating in my second half marathon. The Cincinnati Queen Bee is a women-focused half and 4-miler, and tomorrow is the inaugural race. More importantly, tomorrow is MY inaugural race with my new body, and fresh outlook on life. Flash back to spring of 2013 and my first half marathon. It was something myself and a few friends did together and was awesome, but it definitely wasn't easy. (I'm waiting for Maria to read this and text me asking if I've lost my mind!) But let's get real, if I can deal with two surgeries in six months, I can run a few hours on a Saturday morning.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not planning on running the whole thing or breaking any records, and I really haven't had a ton of time to train (physically and in regards to my more-important social calendar) since I've been cleared to get back to regular workouts, so I'll be doing the best I possibly can by run/walking it. Since I was able to start going back to the gym, I've tried my best to make working out more of a fun routine. Dragging friends to the gym at 6 a.m. so we can gossip while stair-stepping, going on walks with a BFF and her dog to Coffee Emporium on Fridays and running outside or at the gym on the treadmill as a way to decompress from a long day while listening to a lot of Mat Kearney. It's been fun, and kept me in pretty good shape. So really, why not take on another half marathon?

When it comes down to it, my reason for doing it is both simple and admittedly selfish: to show myself that I can. I want to show myself, and other young women who may be in similar shoes, that the surgical decisions I made in the last year did not take away my ability to stay in shape, be healthy or the possibility of coming out on top. You don't have to bounce back to win triathlons or climb mountains, but having a goal and sticking to it can be as rewarding as the medal at the end of the race.

So wish me luck that this simple, selfish idea of mine proves successful. But hey, a little self affirmation never hurt anyone. #YOLO

Xoxo, Molly

To all the Previvors: today is our day.

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. " -Maya Angelou It's October 1st, and I think, and hope, you all know by now that this means it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Most of you know I'm a diehard Today Show watcher, and as soon as I turned it on this morning I was taken over by pink. Matt's ribbon, Carson transforming the Orange Room into Pink Power city and Joan Lunden as a special guest taking breast cancer questions via Facebook. Pink was awesomely everywhere by 7 a.m. I loved it.

This year, Breast Cancer Awareness Month has a different meaning for me. For my life, breast cancer awareness has turned into educating, sharing and opening the conversation on the breast cancer Previvor (capitalizing because I think we are cool enough to have that title). And guess what, it's not only the beginning of this pink-filled month, today is also National Previvor Day! It may be the lesser-known national day during this month, but it's the one that I hold the most dear.

So let's start Breast Cancer Awareness Month with a pink bang, and remember that knowledge is power. Being a Previvor doesn't mean you have to take surgical matters or know right now what you want to do, but is does mean that you're aware of your risk, and you have the power to be proactive and live a healthy lifestyle. For me, being a Previvor means using my knowledge to stay proactive, preventative and most importantly, to be confident enough to share my knowledge and my story with the world. Because helping one person, being a role model to one person or just touching one person's life in some small way, could save a life.

So here's to you Previvors, and the courage it takes to have the knowledge of your risk and do all you can to prevent your chances of developing breast cancer. Let's be proud in our fancy name. Today is our day. Because knowledge is power. And having that power is something to be proud of.

Xoxo, Molly

In the Genes: Knowing and identifying your risk for ovarian cancer

When I talk about my BRCA genetic mutation, I'm usually referencing the increased risk for breast cancer. While this is the biggest increased risk for BRCA carriers, it's not the only one. This month is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month. And because of this, I want to raise awareness about this "silent killer," the risk that BRCA carriers have and what you can do to be proactive with your ovarian health. Ovarian cancer is commonly referred to as a "silent killer" because 60% of diagnosed patients are already in stage 3 at the time of diagnosis. It's different than other cancers, like breast cancer, because there isn't yet a screening process to detect the disease. A common misconception is that your annual appointment with your OBGYN and your annual Pap test is "screening." Unfortunately, there is no effective screening (seems crazy, I know), and although going to your annual appointment is still a smart action plan, there's more to it when it comes to being proactive and self-aware.

I'm no doctor but I'm going to make a bold, and what I believe to be an accurate statement: the key to surviving ovarian cancer is early detection. And in most cases, this is by self-identifying and not ignoring the symptoms. Let's start with what those symptoms are most commonly shown through, for any woman, not just those with a BRCA mutation:

• Bloating
• Pelvic or abdominal pain
• Difficulty eating or feeling full quickly
• Feeling the need to urinate urgently or frequently
• Upset stomach or heartburn
• Back pain
• Fatigue
• Constipation
• Menstrual changes

Now, I know I have a lot of hypochondriac friends out there reading this, so I'm not wanting to freak anyone out by giving out a list of symptoms that can be common in some women (who don't necessarily have anything wrong with them). I'll let WebMD be the one to freak you all out. But, I do think it is extremely important to know these symptoms and identify them in yourself if they last longer than two or three weeks. Because if so, it is recommended you see your medical professional. It could be nothing, but it could be what saves your life.

Now specifically for chicks with a BRCA inherited mutation like myself, some important things to note: Unfortunately, the BRCA mutation can increase your risk for ovarian cancer anywhere from 15 to 40 percent. But, as I will say time and time again, having the knowledge of your increased risk can give you the power of being proactive, in whichever way you choose. And even if we still do not have a way to screen for this disease, there ARE some identified ways that appear to reduce your risk of developing ovarian cancer. They are:

• Oral contraception (especially in those that have used for 5 or more years)
• Breast feeding and pregnancy
• Hysterectomy (this is not for everyone, but if you have a known increased risk, it can be a preventative surgical way to greatly reduce risk)
• Prophylactic oophorectomy (also not for everyone, but for high-risk women, the removal of the ovaries eliminates the risk of ovarian cancer)

For me, I have a very aggressive and proactive GYN. His plan, that started even before I was engaged, was that I was to start popping out babies as soon as possible, to a) decrease my risk, and b) allow me to seriously consider surgical options like a prophylactic oophorectomy. It's something I know I'll do when the time is right, but again, that's a very personal decision, that comes with a lot of changes in my body that I'll have to deal with (menopause, for one, in my thirties does not sound appealing, but hey, I survived the mastectomy in my twenties). It'll be a family-oriented decision, because believe it or not, in just 8 months, I'll be Molly McKnight, and hopefully down the road I'll be mother Molly McKnight with cute little Irish red head kids, so my decision will take action when it's the right time for my family. The point is, I'm able to make such decisions because I have the knowledge to be proactive if I choose to do so.

I'll get off my proactive soapbox and reiterate just one more thing. This disease is the deadliest gynecologic disease that is out there. All women are at risk, and it can attack at any age. So please, be aware and conscious of your body. It can save your life.

Xoxo, Molly

Please note: I am 100% not a medical professional, so if you want specific medical advice or expertise, go see your doctor. But if you want friendly conversation, or have questions you're not ready to go your doctor with yet, I'm your girl, and will help in whatever way I can.

Resources: http://www.ovarian.org/ http://www.brightpink.org/

In the Genes: Preparing to meet with a genetic counselor

So maybe you're reading my blog because by default, you have to. You're a friend, family member or random Facebook friend that keeps being inundated with The Molly Effect. BUT, for any of you that may have caught wind of my blog because you can relate, know someone who has battled breast cancer or are at high-risk yourself or know a friend or love one that is, this post is for you. Finding out, or deciding you would like to find out, if you're at high-risk for breast cancer can come to you in multiple ways. What I've found is the most common discovery is from young women whose mother, grandmother, aunt, etc. have had breast or ovarian cancer, and are looking at their family history with a bit of worry. While this is common, it's not the only way you can be faced with your high-risk history. For me, it was my dad getting sick, and specifically that they could not find out why or with what. There was a known family history of breast cancer in my family, but it wasn't openly discussed, or at least not when I was younger. But truth be told, once we mapped out the family tree, there were just too many instances of women on my dad's side of the family that had been faced with breast cancer.

Everyone's situation is unique, and I'm constantly reminding people that the choice is personal. Just because I saw the high-risk in my family and chose to dig deeper with genetic testing, doesn't mean that's right for everyone. And that is 100% OK. As much of a supporter I am for the decision I made, I would never recommend it to someone who wasn't absolutely sure yet.

But if you are sure, and you want to move forward with finding more information about your risk for breast cancer and/or the BRCA genetic mutation, one of the first steps you can take is to meet with a genetic counselor. I'll start by saying my experience was really, really great. I met with an awesome genetic counselor that did a wonderful job of explaining what was a completely unknown thing to me, in a way that made me feel as at ease as possible (when it really could have freaked me out even more).

So below is a list of three things I recommend to consider, think about or take with you to your first meeting with a genetic counselor. And if you're not there yet and just want to talk to someone over the phone, or read more about it online in the comfort of your home, I've included some links and contact info as well. It can be a scary thing to take this step, but I can personally say that knowledge is power, no matter what you do with it. Carpe diem, friends!

1. Your family tree Chances are, you do not have a family tree mapped out on a piece of paper at home listing all the members of your family and the ages that they have had cancer, or at least it's not something you refer to often. But here's the thing, that family history can be some serious ammo in your fight for being proactive with your health. Not only will the genetic counselor want to see this to gauge your risk, it's also a triggering point to begin the conversation with family members. Maybe breast cancer is taboo in your family and a subject rather not discussed. Asking your mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, whomever, to sit down with you and chart out the family members before you who have been diagnosed with cancers (not just breast) can lead to more open conversations about your individual risk and the disease itself. This can help if you decide to take more actionable steps later on.

2. Your personal medical history and ancestry If you personally have been diagnosed with breast, ovarian cancer or another form of cancer, this can help navigate your risk for carrying the BRCA gene, along with the knowledge of what, if any, of your relatives have been diagnosed as well. Aside from past cancer diagnoses, there is also a correlation between the genetic mutation and being of Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry. The genetic counselor will want to know this right away to help assess your risk.

3. A support system! This is totally my personal opinion, but I believe that having some type of support system with you during this process can immensely help overall. Whether that be a mom, dad, sibling, boyfriend/girlfriend or supportive friend, don't feel weird if you want to bring someone with you to the meeting. Sometimes it's hard to take in all the information you're given when you're feeling overwhelmed, and it can be nice to have someone else in the room taking notes or listening with a different perspective, while also being there as a support for you. And hey, if you can't think of anyone you'd be able to take, I volunteer to be your supporter. You can do this!

Resources:

Bright Pink, http://www.brightpink.org/ Education resources, workshops, tools, high-risk networking

Genetic Testing in the Cincinnati Area:

Cincinnati Children's, http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/service/h/human-genetics/resource-center/ St. Elizabeth, http://www.stelizabeth.com/cancercare/geneticmutationtesting.aspx

Disclaimer: I am obviously not a medical professional, so please, just take my words as suggestions, from personal experience. As always, there are professionals out there that will be a better medical resource, but if I can ever be of any help in your personal journey, I am here to help.

Would you like to join me?

One of the most rewarding aspects of this journey I've been on is feeling that I may be able to impact the lives of women around me, just by sharing my story. Today I simply want to invite you to join me at two upcoming events, specific to the causes that I hold so dear. If you, or someone you know, could benefit from either of these, please pass along the info. It’s my hope that by continuing to share my journey, and the groups and people around me that have helped me along the way, I could help at least one other person. Happy Monday, all! TOMORROW, Tuesday, July 29 at 6 p.m. Bright Pink Cincinnati presents the next experimental outreach event at The Art of Entertaining!

Bright Pink is the only national non-profit organization focusing on the prevention and early detection of breast and ovarian cancer in young women, while providing support for high-risk individuals. Sounds pretty awesome, doesn’t it? And what’s even more awesome is that they put on these really cool, free events for high-risk women, and they have just recently started a group in Cincinnati! I personally have been to one of the previous events and can say it really is a special group to be involved with. This event is at The Art of Entertaining and will be an interactive cooking class, along with a time to chat with other young women about being young and at high risk.

Details: When: Tuesday, July 29, 6-8 p.m. Where: 2019 Madison Rd., Cincinnati, OH 45208 (in O’Bryanville) Who: Young women (ages 18-45) who are at high-risk/have a family history of breast & ovarian cancer Cost: FREE RSVP: To Community@BeBrightPink.org. Have questions? Feel free to email me at mollyessell@gmail.com and I can make sure your questions get to the right individual. More info on Bright Pink can be found here

Saturday, August 9, 1-4 p.m. Susan G. Komen for the Cure Greater Cincinnati affiliate’s Young Professionals presents "Beers for Boobs" at Madtree Brewing

Komen Greater Cincinnati's Young Professionals Committee is a volunteer organization composed of rising young executives and professionals dedicated to our promise to save lives and end breast cancer forever. The YPC's goal is to engage our generation in the culture of philanthropy by developing events and social activities in the Greater Cincinnati community. And this upcoming event at Madtree is sure to be an enjoyable one! It’s apparent in my life every day that breast cancer affects so many people. For me, it’s a cause that I’m personally passionate for and there’s no better way to raise money than by having a good time with friends and drinking some tasty local beer. So, please join me next Saturday, August 9^th at Madtree for beers, socializing and supporting the mission of Komen!

When: Saturday, August 9, 1-4 p.m. Where: 5164 Kennedy Ave, Cincinnati, OH 45213 Who: Anyone & everyone who likes to have fun, drink beer (over 21) & more importantly, wants to support Komen’s mission to end breast cancer forever Cost: $40/ticket, which includes 5 beer tastings and 2 raffle tickets RSVP: Purchase your tickets online, here More info on Komen Cincinnati's YPC can be found here

If you have any questions about either of these events, want more information or just want to chat about getting involved, email me at mollyessell@gmail.com.

Xoxo, Molly

Thanks to my BFF, Angelina!

One year ago today, Angelina Jolie, most known for her roles in Hollywood movies and for her smokin' hot partner Brad Pitt, wrote an op-ed in the New York Times titled, "My Medical Choice." For those of you who have not read this piece, it details Jolie's decision to have a preventative double mastectomy because of her "faulty" BRCA gene. She explains very clearly that although she is happy that she made this decision, it was not an easy one. How I knew Angelina and I were such BFFs is in her reasoning for then going public about her surgery and process. Simply stated, she says "But I am writing about it now because I hope that other women can benefit from my experience. Cancer is still a word that strikes fear into people’s hearts, producing a deep sense of powerlessness. But today it is possible to find out through a blood test whether you are highly susceptible to breast and ovarian cancer, and then take action."

^Amen, sister! And this is why I am choosing to write about my personal decisions now:

Four weeks and two days ago, I had a preventative double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction started at University of Cincinnati Medical Center, by two top-notch surgeons who continue to amaze me. It was because of the same reason Angelina started her journey that led me to mine.

In 2009 I had the initial blood test to check if I carried the genetic mutation, after my dad discovered he was a carrier. Since 2009, we lost my INCREDIBLY strong, intelligent and loving father to a disease they could never quite fully understand. What I did not initially grasp was the gift my dad gave me while he was still here to do so: the knowledge that I needed to be proactive and preventative - for my OWN health.

Coming to the decision to have this surgery was long and difficult to say the least, but now that I am on the other side of things, and can see the end in sight, I, along with my BFF Angelina, know that it was the right decision for me. So thank you, Angelina, for being cool enough to gain your own slogan, just because of your bravery and courage, and give me an easier way to explain to people what's been going on in my life. I am very, very grateful for that.

So - I hope this blog can be a place for learning and understanding the life of being at high-risk for breast cancer and ways to live healthy and thrive through life's difficult endeavors, for anyone.

Xoxo, Molly